10 Ways To Be Toxic Positive At Your Work Place

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(cover image credit: Parson Shivastave)

The magical art of slapping a smiley band-aid on any problem, dismissing everything's hunky-dory, and avoiding any reality like the plague. Because, hey, who needs genuine emotions when you can just drown in a sea of delusional positivity?

If you are interested in joining the Work Force of Toxic Positivity? Here you go, our 10 ways to poison our work place with "positive" energy:

1, It's All in Your Head

Your colleague says:

God, there's so much to do this week; I am going crazy."

You should say:

Don't think too much and keep going. Things will get done eventually!"

2, The Overbearing Cheerleader

Manager:

I've noticed that the pantry area is often left messy, and it's becoming a problem. I'm starting to see the freaking ants! How can we get everyone to clean up after themselves?

You should say:

Oh, it's not that bad! Let's not make a big deal out of it. I'm sure everyone is just busy and didn't mean to leave a mess. I'm sure once this rush has passed, people will start noticing the mess. Everyone is working hard right now, so let's just keep it going!

3, Fake It Till You Make It

Supervisor:

Hey, I noticed you seem a bit quiet lately. Is everything okay?"

You should say:

Oh no, I am all good, like always. Speaking of, have you been to that little Italian restaurant I told you about? I was just there yesterday, and the hand-tossed pizza was next level! I need to buy you some lunch one day.

4, Just-Be-Grateful

Your Subordinate:

This client is crazy, man. You know he called at 3 last night? I left work at 10 because of him and didn't get to bed until 2, 2!"

You should say:

Well, I mean, you should be grateful to even have a client. Your numbers weren't that great last month. So just hang in there, and this will be over soon!

5, Positivity Tribe

Manager:

I heard that you have just recently opened a 'Positive Vibes Only' forum? This forum seems to be potentially problematic?

You should say:

Well, we believe that focusing on positivity will help us stay motivated and productive. Negativity only brings us down, so it's best to keep things positive and uplifting. Join us if you have any thoughts and want to share them on the forum. Here is the positive guide book. Be mindful that you can only use positive words here to express your thoughts. No negativities allowed. Namaste!

6, The Denier of Reality

Supervisor:

Hey, I heard that you had a disagreement with Jane during the team meeting yesterday and that may cause us some delay. Can you tell me what happened?

You should say:

Oh, it was nothing, really! Just a minor difference of opinion. I am sure it won't get to the point that causes delay. It will be fine.

7, It's a Blessing in Disguise

Manager from another team:

I heard that you need to let some people go?

You should say:

Yeah, but it's all good. It means some new opportunities will open up again; you never know! It's exciting if you think about it.

8, The "Good Vibes" Cliqueish Group

Your colleague:

Hey, I heard that you guys are grabbing a beer somewhere for the game tonight. Think I can join?

You should say:

Oh, you know, we kind of have this tight-knit thing going on, and I'm not sure if it would be your scene. We all really vibe with each other, and it might be uncomfortable for you. But hey, I'm sure you'll find someone else to go with! Have a blast!

9, Just Don't Worry About It

Subordinate:

Hey, it's been 5 days in a row Sean is late for at least half an hour. Seems quite unreasonable.

You should say:

Well, he seems to know it, and he also stays a bit later than his schedule. Just don't worry about it for now. It's fine.

10, The "Toxic Positivity Workshop" Organizer

The employee says:

See, the reason why I am here is that my current client is almost abusive, and it's really stressing me out. I have been to this workshop for 2 weeks now, and I am still not feeling any better.

You should say:

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling stressed, but let's focus on the positive aspects and not dwell on negativity. The workshop is designed to help you find inner strength and positivity, which will eventually improve your experience with the client. Try to shift your mindset and see this as an opportunity for personal growth and learning!

The art of being the toxic positive workforce is to master the art of suppressing reality, ignoring genuine problems, and believing the world is filled with roses! Remember, nothing says 'productive' like constantly wearing a big positive smile while denying reality! So, keep spreading that relentless positivity, because who needs authenticity and emotional well-being anyway? Cheers to toxic positivity, where superficiality reigns supreme!