Butt Plug…my What, Why, When, Who and How

Butt Plug…my What, Why, When, Who and How

Just like the intense heat of a ghost pepper, using a butt plug is not for everyone. Even for those who enjoy spicy food, incorporating a ghost pepper into every meal would be excessive. Some may have never even tasted a ghost pepper in their lives. Similarly, a butt plug can be seen as a stimulating and adventurous experience. However, it is not something one immediately jumps into. Just as you start with milder peppers like black pepper or jalapeño before working your way up to more intense varieties like Thai chili or habanero, exploring anal play can also be a gradual process. Once you are comfortable and curious for more, you might consider trying a plug.

I personally love using a butt plug for masturbation or with my boyfriend. It provides extra sexual stimulation and boost up the sexual arousal. Since I am always curious about sex and what my body can do, my first experience with anal sex and a plug was quite smooth and straightforward. That also being said, a plug is no different than other sex toys, like vibrators. Because of my openness, I often get asked questions. Here is my way of hopefully solving some of your concerns, curiosity, or even skepticism.


The Chat GPT answer

“A butt plug is a sex toy designed for anal play. It's a smooth, tapered plug that is inserted into the rectum for sexual stimulation. Butt plugs provide a sense of fullness and pressure, and they can be used for pleasure or as preparation for anal sex. Consent, communication, personal comfort, and proper hygiene are essential when using butt plugs or any other sex toy.”

This is what I think

Personally, to answer this, I would say that this is a tool to enhance or amplify my sexual arousal. It's a tool that adds a bit of excitement to my current sex life. However, not in a let's-get-dirty type of way, but rather a boost to intensify sexual stimulation. It's a genuine pursuit of an honest pleasure.


How I see this question is, why is it worth the trouble.  Well…because, sometimes, I just want something extra. I use perfume to boost my mood and feel a little more special; I shaved a few slices of an expensive ass truffle onto my pasta when I wanted to feel a little bit extra. Sometimes we just want to feel a little more. Sex is no different. 

The craving for new stimulation

After rounds of exploration with different foreplay, positions, or porn, these are all extras mainly for my mind, but I want some extra physical stimulation. That's why I have sex toys, personal massagers, and plugs. These tools provide direct stimulation to boosts intensity. Please keep in mind, sex toys aren’t solutions, but enhancements. I see extra physical stimulation like working out. If you're new to the workout game, use your body weight first. Get to know your own body, explore your own likes and dislikes, and then we can start adding some weight. Plugs, especially for heterosexual people, are a foreign subject. But once you are comfortable with what you're doing, it’s not a bad idea to venture out to inspire some creativity and imagination.

Why the stigma

There are a lot of stigmas built around this topic. But from my personal point of view, this is just a simple tool to boost up some extra excitement and pleasure. Nothing more than that. I love sex, I enjoy sex, and most importantly, I enjoy life. I have introduced plugs to many of my exes and my current boyfriend. Not by words, but by some simple stimulation around the anus area to introduce them to what that area can give you in terms of new sexual arousal. Within 2-3 tries, they naturally become curious and have built up a desire to explore more.

The Chat GPT response 

Butt plugs provide sexual pleasure by stimulating sensitive nerve endings, creating fullness and pressure. They can also target the prostate for intense pleasure. In heterosexual relationships, women can enjoy butt plugs for exploring sensations, enhancing arousal, and experimenting with stimulation. Prioritizing communication, consent, comfort, and boundaries is important when introducing sexual activities or toys into a relationship.


Hmmm…deciding when to use a plug is a personal decision. Whether you’re engaging in self-pleasure or with a partner, it’s important to ensure you have plenty of time to make the experience enjoyable. For both men and women, using a plug during masturbation can be a highly enjoyable experience. If you're using it during sex with your partner, make sure you both have the time and mood. Using a plug requires effort and cleanup, especially with lubricant. While the insertion process requires physical effort, it’s equally important to take time to relax mentally and practice deep breathing to ease tension. That being said, if you’ve had a particularly stressful or draining day, it might be best to opt out of the plug play. Generally speaking, using plugs should not be treated as a quick, casual activity, but rather as a chance to relax and enjoy something extra by yourself or with your partner.

Take it slow

If you feel like it tonight, consider inserting a plug before foreplay. This can heighten your sexual pleasure, making even foreplay feel more extraordinary. It also gives your partner the chance to use some additional moves, such as applying light pressure or gently pulling or wiggle the plug, which can provide you with extra stimulation. You can also do this during solo play.


All those interested in anal play, feel free to join in! It doesn't matter whether you're homosexual or heterosexual, in a relationship or single, male or female; plugs can be a great tools for enhancing your sexual experience. However, I'd strongly suggest taking the time to get to know your own desires and likes before diving into the world of toys. It's important to remember that there's a thin line between getting an extra boost and becoming dependent. You should use the plug, or really any other kind of sex toys, to enhance your pleasure, not to be a crutch.



A good amount of lubrication and complete body relaxation are essential. Most importantly, take your time. If this is your first time or a long time after revisiting, use the smaller size plug to warm up your body first. The sensation can be so foreign that you may mentally reject it. However, if you relax your body and mind and slowly insert it by going back and forth slowly, it will gradually arouse you. If your partner is doing it for you as part of foreplay, be extremely vocal and guide your partner through. Eventually, your anus muscle will give in and let the plug to slide in slowly. 


Regarding lubricant, I prefer silicone-based, which has better gliding properties and lasts longer. The downside is that it's quite challenging to wash off, even in a full shower. One thing worth trying is mixing water-based and silicone-based to create a hybrid lubricant. It has the lightness of water-based lube and is easy to handle, but it still has some of the gliding quality of silicone-based.

What does Chat GPT has to say?

  1. Communication: Discuss desires, boundaries, and concerns with your partner.
  2. Choose the right size and material: Start with a size suitable for your comfort level and use a body-safe material like silicone.
  3. Lubrication: Apply water-based lubricant generously to the toy and anus for easier insertion.
  4. Relax and go slow: Take your time, be relaxed, and start with gentle pressure.
  5. Use a flared base: Ensure the butt plug has a wide base to prevent it from getting lost inside.
  6. Clean thoroughly: Wash the butt plug with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner after use.

Some extra notes

I do think that for both mental and physical comfort, I try to use the restroom beforehand to have a clear stomach. I don’t recommend cleaning up your bowel with butt cleaner, that can affect your natural balance.  If you feel bloated or any kind of discomfort, let’s skip it for the night and do something else instead.

And yes, sometime brown bits will cling onto the toy when you pull it out.  This is a natural occurrence and we all experience the same, so there is nothing to be embarrassed about. If embarrassment is part of your concern, let’s try it by yourself first, or even better, try it in the shower.  Get to know your comfort level first, then slowly express your interest to your partner.

    In conclusion 

    My conclusion is, try not to see using a butt plug for sexual pleasure as anything different than other types of sex toys.  If you have a vibrator, or a suction toy, maybe a G-spot massager, maybe it’s not a bad idea to explore the plugs as well.  It’s just simply fun and enjoyable!

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